Stupid Criminals

[Xissa]

One bank robbery recently pulled one of the dumbest sounding crimes you’ll hear today…and actually got away with it.
A robber in Texas knocked over a bank through the drive-thru lane.
He actually pulled up to the teller window and dropped them a threatening note. The teller, in fear for her safety, gave the man money and took off. Not so funny now, is it?
Police said the man is still at large.

[Xissa]

Police arrested the wrong man for stealing two bottles of malt liquor from a nearby store and pulled a knife on the store owner. The person who allegedly saw them taking the wrong guy away decided to point out their little mistake.

He actually shouted, according to the story, “It was me you idiots, you have the wrong guy.” Police thanked the man for correcting them and promptly threw his butt in jail.

[Xissa]

A guy shows up early at a muffler shop and demands money from the safe, but the clerk tells the robber only the manager can open it. That’s what you get for getting up early. Listen up kids, always sleep late. The early bird can have the worm because he doesn’t have a hangover. So the robber decides to leave his phone number with the clerk and tells it to give it to his manager when he shows up. Officers called the guy and the suspect returned to the store waving a gun around and an officer shot him in the leg.

[Xissa]

Two masked men wielding machetes entered the bar and demanded money. Little did they know the bar was filled with angry bikers who literally eat guys like them for breakfast because they have to work off a lot of calories beating hippies and punching horses.

Police found one of the suspects hog-tied by the bikers. The bikers will move on to the semi-finals in the Dumbass Burglar Rodeo.

[Xissa]

a man in Kentucky tried to rob a store with a mask made entirely out of duct tape.

That’s right, he did it to himself. He wrapped his own head in duct tape and he wasn’t in a fraternity or a loading dock with a bunch of drunken co-workers or a bait shop/office supply store.

According to the story, the man tried to rob the store and the owner chased him, tackled him and held him in a choke hold. He managed to keep the robber in submission until police could deliver the three count.

News crews actually caught him on camera with a head full of duct tape and he actually denied being the “duct tape bandit.” He’s actually the “duct tape robber.” Big diff, folks.

[airframeranger]

Two kids were playing in a wash (an area where water runs through after heavy rains, somewhat like a canal) and were on an island in the middle when the water came rushing through. Emergency services were called out and saved them. Mom and dad were stuck with the bill for said services.